BroApp is a new app for android that will send automated messages to your girlfriend in case you're too busy with your life. Ensuring you seem attentive and sweet, BroApp is your new best friend. It even comes with a couple of handy girlfriend-lockdown measures so she can never figure out what you're up to.
First off, it detects the WiFi you are logged into, so it can ensure not to send a message when you're logged into your girlfriend's WiFi, because it would be pretty awkward if you sent her a message whilst sitting next to her.
Secondly, if she clicks on the app without your passcode, she's directed to a list of "thoughtful gifts you were planning to buy her", which is likely full of suspiciously stereotypical stock.
What we're really wondering is what happens when she replies, and you're obviously still too busy with stuff to answer? We know it won't message her if you've been in contact in the last hour (another security measure), but say it texts her, she replies, and then you ignore her. That'll look good.
Nothing does say love like "outsourcing your relationship so you can spend more time with the bros". She may not catch on (as the app's website assures us she won't), but she might think you're being LESS attentive if you start a conversation you then fail to continue. Alternatively, sending daily texts like "Miss you", " :x " or any other non-conversation-starting sentiments may well just make you look clingy. Which is ALWAYS a recipe for success.
If you're looking to try it out though, we encourage you, as we'd love to know how exactly that goes for you, or how you managed to end a relationship with it. It'll set you back $2, and is only available for Android.
Ari Carrington