Fame; it’s a desirable beast. The lengths some people will
go to in an effort to attain their moment in the sun boggle the mind.
Occasionally you get folks who pull off something really cool like climbing to
the top of a chuffing great big skyscraper, and that’s all well and good.
It’s when people cruise past the line and leave it
languishing in the rear view mirrow that things tend to get just a bit too
weird. Take @VersacePopTarts; he’s a (former) Twitter user whose real name has
thankfully been shielded from the warped piece of news that you’re about to
read.
This chap had sex with a cheese and ham toastie and then
posted the video online. No, this isn’t something out of an American Pie movie;
this really happened and resulted in him being banned from Twitter and Vine. I guess you can kiss your fame
goodbye, lad.
“I just thought it was so f**king funny,” he told First We
Feast. He promised to do the deed if he received 420 retweets and, much to the
dismay of US Hot Pockets, the target was reached and he smashed its backdoors
in.
"I tried doing it without a
condom and it was just, like, way too hot,” he said.
"I put it in the fridge for a
little bit and I was like, ‘Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom if I’m gonna
actually stick my d*** in the whole Hot Pocket.’"
Unbelievably, he
works in the restaurant business. I weep for humanity.
Matt Gammond